I didn’t hear my son cry at first, not over the rush of blood in my ears and the soft instructions the nurses traded above my head, but I felt him—warm, damp, impossibly small—when they laid him on my chest. My hands shook as if my body couldn’t decide whether to hold tight or let go from exhaustion. The delivery room lights were too bright, the air too cold, yet my baby’s skin was like a tiny sun against mine.
I remember thinking, for one floating second, that every hard month had been worth it, that the nausea and swollen ankles and sleepless nights had all been a toll paid to reach this exact moment. Then Ryan spoke. He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t smiling with awe. He stood at the foot of the bed with his arms folded, eyes hard and amused, as if he were watching someone else’s life unfold. He looked at the newborn, tilted his head, and said with a smirk, “We need a DNA test to be sure it’s mine.
” The sentence fell like a plate shattering. A nurse froze with a towel in her hands. The doctor’s eyebrows lifted in disbelief. I felt my throat close and my vision blur with tears I didn’t invite.
