Grief has a way of reshaping ordinary afternoons into something fragile and unpredictable, and I learned that lesson again the day my son mentioned his late brother as casually as if he were talking about a classmate. Noah had been back at kindergarten for just a week after the winter break, and I was trying to reassemble a sense of normalcy in a house that had felt hollow since Ethan died. Six months earlier, a routine drive to soccer practice had turned into a phone call that split my life into before and after. Since then, I had been functioning in survival mode—packing lunches, signing permission slips, answering emails—while carrying a weight that never fully lifted.
When Noah climbed into the car that afternoon, tugging awkwardly at his seatbelt, he spoke in the steady tone children use when they believe something is entirely uncomplicated. “Mom, Ethan came to see me,” he said. The words did not land gently. They struck with the force of both hope and terror. My grip tightened on the steering wheel, but I kept my voice level. “What do you mean, he came to see you?” I asked, trying not to let my fear spill into the space between us. Noah explained that Ethan had been near the playground fence and that he had talked to him like he used to. He described it with such certainty that for a fleeting second, grief tempted me to believe in something supernatural, something that would make the ache feel less permanent. But instinct—raw and protective—whispered that there might be another explanation.